"what are you going to do with a degree in english?" /offended by your tone, pablo neruda descends from the heavens/ /with a few lines of poetry, he seduces your girlfriend/ /then there is a flash of light and the strumming of a thousand acoustic guitars/ /pablo is gone/
YES SAURON, LORD OF MORDOR, WILL HAVE THE HERB CRUSTED SALMON FILET PLEASE.
AND THIS IS SAURON’S CHEAT DAY SO SAURON WILL TREAT HIMSELF TO THE CHOCOLATE RASPBERRY TRUFFLE CHEESECAKE.
SAURON DESERVES IT.
okay BUT LOOK AT THIS FRENCH SUPPLY TEACHER HOLY SHIT
i was gonna reblog this for the booty he’s got going on but then i saw the hashtag and now I’m reblogging it for that alone.
honeymoon is an interesting term because an actual moon made of honey would imply space bees which is pretty horrifying
if someone ever calls u a mean name just respond “nah” like how do you even respond to that realistically
some person: hey asstown
i think my favourite part about this post is that out of all the mean names someone could realistically call you, they chose “asstown”
This horse is not a real horse. it is made up of seventeen tinier horses in a horse costume.
This is not a real horse. it is made up of five regular sized horses that have joined forces to become EquesaTron, Defender of The Plains